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The wind and my broken heart mending


"The wind and my broken heart mending"

100 x 70 cm

Oil on canvas

2025


My heart is broken. It's taken me a while to just accept it. To say it. My heart is broken.


Having cancer and going through treatment in 2024 broke me in some ways. It fell upon my naïve, airy head like a thunderclap. It floored me. Violated me. Robbed of my eternal conviction that the universe was basically a benevolent place. That the universe loved me. It made me realize that cruel things happen randomly. That suffering is not always enlightened. Sometimes it is just suffering.


And even though I find myself here now, very alive after walking with death so close to me, I now know that we all have death walking beside us. I thought I knew that before, but I didn't. Not really. I know it now. So death and I walk. We walk along the river, up the mountain, by the lake, on the beach, down my cobblestone street. We are companions now. We walk often in the wind and weather.


This painting is the wind. As it blows, heedless of me and you and every creature. It blows clean and strong and poetically, a thing of power. The wind blows straight through me, through my heart that feels broken. It blows through my heart and lingers there, mending the strings of my violin. Darning my dress. Brushing my newly born hair back from my forehead.


The universe may no longer love me as I once believed. But the wind does. The wind loves me. The wind is there for only me. Holding me up and carrying me on light.


The wind and my broken heart mending.


On the date of this writing, This painting is available in my Italy studio.

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